Unpredictable
by LossOfBrains
Summary: Living alone with his brother is starting to take its toll but on one fateful evening a chain of events cause Matthew Williams to attempt the unthinkable. Now on the edge of death will anyone save him? Rated: M for cursing and mild sexual themes.


Matthew Williams had learned firsthand why one shouldn't live with their brother. He had thought at first that it was the best idea ever, they would be attending the same college and they could split the expenses, but of course soon after he discovered that that had been a very, very bad idea.

He had lived his entire life with his slightly older brother ever since he was given up by the teenage Canadian who birthed him. He knew Alfred and him had little in conmen. Alfred was loud and liked a loud party scene to fit it; Matthew was quiet usually because of his small voice and did not draw much attention to himself, but besides all their differences they had always had a strong bond.

Matthew could come to his brother for anything and could talk to him about anything from topics ranging from hockey to sexuality (that had been an awkward conversation but in the end Alfred understood). Only, there were times when Alfred had forgot who his little brother was entirely and of course he didn't mean to forget, but the smaller blonde couldn't help but fall into a small depression afterward.

So maybe one reason you shouldn't live alone with your siblings is because they get on your nerves. They get on your nerves and there's no one to stop you from snapping on them, plus you have a car to move the bodies. Alfred hadn't really been that bad at first but as the months dragged by he seemed to go through a college "crash"; as his excitement decreased so did his sense of responsibility. He left clothing and empty food containers scattered around about the apartment and stopped working entirely, leaving Matthew and his minim-wage job to pay for _EVERYTHING_. He sat on his ass all day playing video games only leaving to use the bathroom or to rummage through the cabinets for something edible. He rarely attended classes and refused to socialize with anyone outside of his gaming friends.

Matthew sighed sadly tuning the key to their down-town apartment on auto-pilot, seeing as the "independent life" didn't suit his brother very fairly and that Matthew was too kind and forgiving he would probably get stuck taking care of him for the rest of his life or when he decided to tell Alfred what was on his mind. He seriously doubted the later.

He put the rest of his thoughts away for later while stepping in through the chipping door frame out of the cold slums almost wincing at the sound the hinges squeaked in protest as he shut the door behind. It was dark in the small apartment and Matthew had to search for the light switch stumbling slightly in the absence of light.

He found the switch and with a flick of his finger light flooded into the living room. He took in the usual rotting foods and scattered cloths amongst them piles of video games and magazines; he almost wished he hadn't turned on the light. Matthew wished he had more time to clean; this was his home after all even if Alfred refused to do his share of work.

He glanced about the room looking for the older man, his eyes raked around the piles of crap. Something brown caught his eye; he looked closer and saw it was Alfred's fighter jacket. He waded through the junk to the slumped figure of his older brother, who was passed out on the coffee table, a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a "San Francisco" shot glass in the other. Matthew sighed and squatted down to wake his brother with a small shake. "Hey, Al," He whispered, "You fell asleep."

Alfred's eyes opened slowly. He looked exhausted; large bags hung under his eyes, and his normally alive, electric blue irises where extremely dull and lifeless, like the walking dead. His tired stare wandered before locking with Matthew's violet. They switched from a tired gaze to a horrible glare with a hatred Matthew had never seen before. He jumped back in surprise as Alfred straitened up.

"Who the fuck are you?" He asked coldly.

Matthew's heart sunk and he tried to keep the hurt feeling in his chest from spreading to his face, "M-matthew… your brother…"

"What do you want?" his eyes were still hard with an undying hate that was foren to his usually happy and carefree features.

Matthew flinched, "I-I was j-just wondering if you where o-ok…"

"Stop stuttering." Alfred snapped.

"W-wha-"

"You heard me." He growled grabbing the other by cuff of his shirt pulling him close, "You make me sick."

"A-alfred… w-what-"Matthew was terribly confused; his brother had always been an ass but he had never acted so cold like he truly hated Matthew with all his heart, this was not his brother. He glanced at the alcohol in Alfred's hand and the many empty bottles on the floor… maybe that was the cause "H-how much have y-you been d-drinking?"

Alfred just shot him a glare, "I said, stop stuttering, you fucking cocksucker."

Matthew frowned eyes starting to water… ok… he was defiantly not prepared for that…

He thought he could come to Alfred with anything…

"Not that anyone would want to fuck you anyway."

Obviously he was wrong.

"What are you going to cry now? You fucking Fag."

"A-al… I-I d-don't-"All Matthew could do was stutter the tears gathering in his eyes beginning to over flow, spilling over his pail features. Each tear left its salty tracks as they rolled down his face.

Alfred snickered coldly, "You're such a fucking pussy, you can't even defend yourself! Grow up, Mattie!"

Small sobs racked his body, he looked down at his hands his entire form shaking. What was happening? Why couldn't he say anything to these insults?

Another horrible snicker directed at Matthew's pain, "You can't take shit! One insult and you're in tears! Are you going to run Mattie? Go run into your room and cry into that stuffed polar bear you refuse to through away?"

"I-i…"

"You're so fucked up… why don't you just kill yourself already?"

Matthew couldn't take it anymore. He tried to stand his ground but the verbal attacks where too much. He stood up shakily stumbling backwards. He brought out his arms to steady himself but fell anyway landing clumsily on the crap littering the floor earning another amused sneer. He scrambled to on his feet to turn and dash to the door. He threw it open and sprinted blindly down the stairs and down the street.

A cruelly cheerful voice called after him, "You can't run from it Mattie~! Might as well get it over with!"

Matthew felt that that was the truth. Why shouldn't he end it? Life sucked. He might as well take his own life. All the stress he had been under lately had taken a toll on his grades, his art, and his hockey passion. He had no purpose; he was a waste of a life.

It had begun to rain and all Matthew had on in a form of a coat was his red hoodie. It was his favorite, ironic it would be there till the very end. Having a destination in mind Matthew ran the familiar roads, his tears mixed with the rain and his cloths where soon soaked but he barely noticed in his anxious state. Running started to hurt, every step jolted his insides and his breathing became erratic and strained. He hadn't eaten anything since dinner last night and he was tired. So tired. But his heart hurt and he couldn't stop. Not until he ended it.

When Matthew reached the bridge the rain only came harder. It acted like a curtain closing out everything except the bridge. Usually the metal structure was seen as place of sanctuary for children and young teens; a place to get away, and now it would be the same for Matthew.

He approached the edge slowly, sneakered feet shuffling across the paved road. He held out a hand and carefully brushed the slightly rusting metal. He looked slowly over the metal railing at the raging water below, jagged rocks popping out of white water. If the distance didn't kill him then the rocks and the current would.

Matthew lifted himself onto the slippery metal still staring at the hazardous liquid below. He had to do it now, before he had any second thoughts… but…

All he could do was hold himself and cry. Tears streamed down his face. He felt betrayed and used.

His heart ached.

He hurt so badly.

Like he was dying from the inside out…

Perhaps if he stood there long enough he would die from a broken heart.

"Why don't you just jump already?" came a voice from behind, and for one horrible second Matthew thought it was Alfred.

He spun around holding his arms out for balance. His face was pale and eyes where wide with fear. He stood petrified in horror staring at the figure standing behind the curtain of rain, propped up against up what looked like a bike.

Matthew gasped, finally finding his voice, "W-who are you?"

The person of interest stepped in sight his face blank and Matthew recognized him right away. His light blonde hair was soaked and hung over his eyes, a colour similar to Matthew's. His nose was larger than most and it dominated his face, but in no way took away from his handsome looks. He wore a long brown coat with large buttons running up one side complete with the usual long white scarf.

"I-Ivan?" Matthew let out a sigh of relief, "What are you doing here?"

"I was walking home when I saw an idiot on a bridge, da," Ivan replied in his thick accent waving his hand vaguely.

"O-oh?" Matthew stuttered suddenly ashamed.

They stood in an awkward silence for what felt like hours. Matthew shivered soaked to the bone and his lips where purpling from the cold.

Ivan sighed, "You're not going to jump. You might as well come down."

Matthew bit his lip staring at the ground shamefully.

"You could come to my house if you want, I could get you some dry cloths."

Matthew looked up before nodding slowly, "Ok" He made a move to get down but his sneakers couldn't grip on the slippery metal. His legs slipped out from under him and…

He fell. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. His arms flailed out for a hold but found nothing but empty space. _This is it_, he thought, _I'm really going to die_. Matthew's eyes closed in acceptance. Everything he was seemed to wash away as his soul drifted out of its shell knowing the body wasn't going to live much longer.

A sudden warmth at Matthew's hand jerked him back into reality. He gasped in pain as his shoulder was nearly ripped from its socket. That is when he realized he was dangling by his arm a hundred of feet above the raging water.

"Lord, you're clumsy," Ivan's voice came from above in an annoyed tone.

"I-I'm sorry…" Matthew eyeballed the pointed rocks below suddenly glad he hadn't met with them.

"Save it, and give me your other arm," Ivan grunted against the weight of the other tiring not to drop him but the rain made his arms slippery. Matthew swung his other arm to Ivan who grabbed on quick.

With a loud groan Ivan pulled the younger man up by his arms until he could fit the crook of his arm into Matthew's armpits. He staggered backward embracing the smaller man to his chest, pulling him the rest of the way over the rail.

They fell to the ground still caught in their embrace breathing heavily either from the near death experience or the strength exerted. All other sounds seemed to wash out of Matthew mind and for a long time they laid on the hard asphalt recovering in silence until "T-thank you…" Matthew gasped resting his head thoughtfully on Ivan's chest. He felt his heart flutter with the contact while the other seemed to tense.

Ivan stood suddenly and unexpectedly, knocking the other blonde to the side to grab his bike from its position on the ground; he must have thrown it in his hurry to catch Matthew. He began to walk away rolling the bike besides him but not before turning to the confused man on the ground, "Are you coming?" he asked over the rhythmic pounding of the rain, his face blank.

"O-oui…" Matthew rose shakily to follow Ivan down the road, but stopped to give one last longing glance at the bridge.

"Not having second thoughts are we?" Ivan called.

"N-non… I just…" He whispered turning to face Ivan, "its n-nothing…"

They walked the rest of the way in silence, the rain still fell but it seemed to be letting up some. Ivan strolled proudly holding himself with a confidence royalty would poses, his bike rolling along side like a trusty steed. Matthew giggled at the image he got in his brain, Ivan, in tights and puffy shorts a shiny crown upon his head complete with a scowl that said "I'm-going-to-kill-you-if-you-do-not-obey-my-every-whim". He giggled again and Ivan gave him a look raising an eyebrow.

Matthew coughed blushing furiously and deciding to busy himself by observing the bike. It seemed to be homemade; the rusted metal was welded together skillfully but not cleanly. All the bits appeared to be different types of scrap metal found around and a sewn pillow for the cushion. The tiers where old and dirty, one looked like it had been blown making the vehicle impossible to ride, which incidentally had popped on Ivan's way home forcing him to walk through the rain and intercept a certain blonde's road to suicide.

They turned on a mud road, dirtying their shoes with wet earth and making it harder to walk. Ivan lived on a small farm on the outskirts of town with his two sisters and his American parents. It had a few acres of fields but it mostly housed animals.

When they finally reached his place of residence it was already well into the night, water was still falling from the sky but not nearly as hard as before. They were both soaked to the bone and as soon as they stepped into the house Ivan ran to get towels.

…

Matthew sat on the toilet lid drying his hair trying to catch up with the day's events. How had getting up to late for work and missing two classes in the morning lead up to attempted suicide? He couldn't believe he had let Alfred's words affect him so harshly. He was so grateful to Ivan for stopping him when he did, or Matthew would be making friends with the fish.

"Hey I-Ivan?" He called to the man waiting outside the door.

"Da?"

"U-uh… I just wanted to say T-thank you… for stopping me…"

"Da…" He paused for a few seconds before asking, "Why would you do that?" Matthew might have imagined it but the almost complete stranger (he only knew in some classes he took), sounded worried.

He smiled sadly pulling on the borrowed pants; they where one of Ivan's old pairs so they where a bit baggy. He expected this question, "I… had a fight with my brother…" he confessed, "Well… it wasn't really a f-fight it was more of him yelling at me drunkenly and me c-crying like a little g-girl," He laughed bitterly, "He said I-I should k-kill myself so I thought, 'Eh, why not?'"

Ivan was silent on the other side of the door and Matthew thought he had lost interest. He took the button-up, short sleeve shirt in his hands sighing and wondering how he was going to hide the scars covering both his wrists. He swore he looked more like an emo teenager and less like a mature man almost coming out of his first year of college.

"Why would you think that?" Ivan's voice startled him. It sounded angry.

"W-what?"

"Why would you think that your life's not worth living?" It was funny, Ivan used to be the one telling others that they should kill themselves. Obviously living with his adoptive parents had changed him from a cruel sadistic teenager to a more kind and silent man who stopped things he used to cause. When he lived at the orphanage in Russia he was always angry and lashed out violently against the staff and the other children. He faked smiles and child-like ignorance to get away with all kinds of trouble. He never showed any true emotions hiding behind a fake mask of feelings. Of course it wasn't all his fault, that orphanage was a horribly grotesque place where children were beaten and maimed then forced in ridiculous positions for the world to see. As the scars on his neck proved. Not all orphanages were like that. Ivan had just been unlucky, but being with Americans had defiantly influenced his nature for the better, not to say he didn't have problems just that he was better at dealing with them.

Matthew remained silent, not sure how to answer. He pulled the shirt over his head, fixing the wrinkles thoughtfully. He took his wet cloths and hung them over the shower curtain to dry. He opened the door quickly hiding his wrists behind his back and stepping out of the door frame.

Ivan looked at the other expectantly crossing arms and standing in way. He looked like a perturbed house wife waiting for the reason her husband stayed out so late. Another laughable image popped into his mind (Ivan in an apron holding a spatula, complete with lipstick and high-heeled shoes, 'You're three hours late, da.') and he had to stifle a giggle bringing up a hand to cover his mouth giving a little cough to emphasize.

Ivan snatched Matthew's arm almost instantaneously forcing it strait so he could study the skin more closely and growled. The aura around the older man changed instantly and Matthew squeaked unable to pull his arm away fast enough, "What the hell did you do to your arm?"

"I-i…"… _oh mapleshit_… _you_ _idiot!_ Matthew mentally scolded himself. Ivan's hands tightened around the thin arm in anger causing Matthew gasped in pain and surprise.

He let go immediately and Matthew's arm quickly retreated where he held it close to his chest. "Oh… I'm sorry, Matvey…"

"I-it's fine… h-how did you get my name a-anyway?" he asked tiring to keep the topic of the embarrassing marks on his arms.

"Oh… well…" Ivan put cupped his hand around his chin in the famous "thinking pose", "I researched it… da…"

"R-really?" That wasn't some he heard every day.

Ivan put his hands up defectively, "I wasn't stalking or anything I was just curious!"

Matthew could have laughed at Ivan's face. His eyes were wide and… was he blushing? Matthew couldn't hold it anymore; he buckled over giggling, his hands clutching his stomach. Wasn't he the one supposed to be blushing?

Ivan rolled his eyes trying to hide how flustered he was, "Come to the living room… I have a fire going."

Matthew nodded still chuckling lightly. He followed Ivan down the hall to the living room. The fire was nice and large, emitting huge amounts of heat. Matthew sat in a spot on the couch close to the pit angling himself in a way so his feet would get most of the warmth.

"Would you like me to make you some soup, da?" Ivan asked leaning to see the other's face.

"O-oh… non! I'm fine!" He flailed his arms shaking his head wildly at the exact time his stomach growled loudly as if to say 'You're not forgetting me are you?' Matthew glared at it 'Oh, shut up you're fine!'

Ivan chuckled, "I'll take that as a yes." Matthew looked like he would protest but the man was already gone.

He sighed leaning his head on the back of the couch and smiled softly. Ivan was being so kind. It was strange; Matthew had never expected the man to be so… understanding. His looks made him out to be more of a sadistic sort of person. He obviously had the temper for it but he seemed to a have that under control for the most part.

Ivan walked in, a second later, holding two bowls of soup. He offered one to Matthew, who took it thanking the other happily. They ate in a comfortable silence sitting side by side. When finished Ivan collected the bowls and disappeared again.

When Ivan returned Matthew asked, "Do you live alone?"

"Nyet, I live with my family~" Ivan answered fondly sitting next to Matthew on the couch.

"Oh, are they h-here?"

"Nyet, they went on a camping trip about a week ago, they should be returning any day, da."

"Oh?" Matthew frowned, "Why didn't you go, eh? W-wanted to be alone?"

Ivan leaned back placing his legs on the coffee table and his head in his hands. He closed his eyes in contemplation, "I… don't like to be alone," he started slowly, "But I had finals so I had to stay, da."

"I see."

"Do you live with your brother?" A violet eye opened to stare at the smaller blonde.

"U-uh… oui, we w-were going to the same college so we t-thought it would convenient…"

"… is it safe to say that was a horrible idea, da?" Ivan stated frowning at the way Matthew flinched as he spoke.

"I-I d-don't think it was that bad of an idea…" he defended, smiling weakly.

_Oh, so it was your idea…_ Ivan pondered "Well, he almost caused you to end your life… but then again _you're_ the one who listened… maybe stupidity runs in the family, da?"

Matthew stuck his tongue out, a playful glare on his face, "I'm not related to A-alfred by blood!"

"Oh?"

"Oui! I'm adopted!" Matthew placed his hands on his hips.

"Really?"

"Oui, really! Actually, I originated in Canada," Matthew puffed out his chest proudly.

"What a coincidence."

Matthew wrinkled his nose, "You're from Canada? I never would have guessed with the ascent…"

Ivan chuckled, "Nyet, I'm from Russia. I meant I was adopted also~"

"Wow, really?"

"Da."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Matthew's hands fidgeted and he couldn't hold the question anymore, "H-how did it happen?"

Ivan hummed before answering, "They were… killed."

The other's violet eyes widened to a comical size in shock, "I-I'm s-sorry…"

He shrugged, face blank, "It's ok, I actually prefer it this way," a confused look was sent his way and he continued, "as opposed to being gave away."

Matthew flinched, "O-oh I see…"

Ivan raised an eyebrow frowning at the reaction, "How did it happen for you?"

"U-uh well," he pulled his legs to his chest resting his chin on his knees and staring with a far off look. "I was b-born in Vancouver a-about 19 years ago by a 17-year-old w-who gave me u-up in favor of her education. I stayed at an o-orphanage there for about six years before I was put into f-foster care and eventually a-adopted by my parents…" He always had problems talking about his biological mom but with Ivan it seemed so easy.

"Is Alfred adopted also?"

"No… er… m-my parents are both men… and uh A-alfred was Arthur's son he had with his ex-wife, before…" Matthew waved his have vaguely avoiding the other's gaze unsure how he would react.

"I see… are you… ashamed of your parents?"

Matthew's neck snapped in Ivan's direction a look crossed between regret and anger, "Of course not! I love them! They're my parents! Plus that would be hypocritical of me considering that I'm also gay-"He stopped himself, his eyes widening in shock. Oops. This would be a good time to run. Instead He buried his head in his knees, shrinking away from Ivan expecting him to beat him up like the other children did when he was younger.

"Oh g-god I'm sorry! Please d-don't hurt me… I'll leave right n-now." He stuttered pleadingly. He hadn't really said anything offending but one could take what he said as they will, he was terrified.

Instead on the pain he expected he felt Ivan's weight shift slowly not away but closer. Gradually he lifted his head to look at man next to him. He sweared he almost jumped fifty feet in the air out of surprise. Ivan's face was millimeters away, he looked confused; worried. Matthew swallowed hard, a blush forming on his cheeks. The other brought up a hand to tangle itself in the yellow locks pulling and gripping his similar coloured eyes sparkled with some kind of unlocked emotion.

Matthew's stomach clenched attempting to keep the butterflies inside where they belonged. They seemed to be egging him on to lean forward, just a bit closer so their lips would be touching. He had never been kissed before; he wondered what it felt like. He had almost been kissed by a girl in 7th grade but before she got too close he screamed out of panic, that he liked men. It spread around the school like wildfire and he was shunned for life. The only one who hung around him was Alfred, even the teachers treated him differently… and now Alfred also regarded him as a disease.

He felt like crying again, he let a few salty tears roll down his cheeks not taking his eyes off Ivan. Another pale hand came to touch Matthew's cheek brushing away the tears tenderly. The hands were callused and strong but gentle.

"Don't be afraid, Matvey. I am not going to hurt you because of your sexuality. That doesn't matter; the only thing that matters is what type of person you are. That's all that matters to me."

Ivan's hand trailed down his cheek and jaw line till it could grip his chin lightly. He leaned in and Matthew's heart skipped a beat making a split decision meeting Ivan halfway, eyes closed. Their lips met hesitantly, Ivan's hand slid to the back of Matthew's neck and the other braced his hip pulling him closer. Their lips moved in sync. Like puzzle pieces. They fit together. Matthew clung to the front of the others shirt encouraging more.

It was slow and lingering. Nothing Matthew had expected… not at all… but much better and he whimpered pathetically when Ivan pulled away for breath. He blushed embarrassed by the sound he emitted but Ivan only smiled pulling him back into a light kiss, leaving the lips a moment to plant small soft butterfly kisses on the cheek.

He came back to the pink lips and the kisses became more sensual as friction sparked. Before long Ivan was pushing the younger man onto his back slowly searching the other's eyes for sign of disapproval before continuing. He straddled the smaller body kissing the neck tentatively while slowly un-buttoning the shirt he wore reveling a skinny frame, pale from lack of sun. Matthew moaned quietly his hips bucking forward. He blushed and looked away; embarrassed by the way his body had reacted.

Ivan kissed the man's collarbone before leaning over to whisper in the other's ear lovingly, "Don't be embarrassed. Its fine," he assured the other, "I don't mind, da." He waited a few seconds, unsure if he could say it, "I love you."

Matthew frowned turning away, "You don't mean that. Y-you can't mean t-that."

"Of course I mean it."

"N-non you don't…" Matthew pushed the man away meekly and slid out from under him. He stood up and began the task of re-buttoning the shirt, "I should get going, I'm sorry for causing any trouble. I'll return the shirt tomorrow."

"Matvey, Wait." Ivan grabbed the younger man's scared arm, "I was lying."

Matthew raised an eyebrow; something seamed to break inside. His eyes teared up. He cursed himself for being so weak. _Damn it! You're a grown man! Start acting like it!_ Maybe Alfred was right.He was like a little girl, "S-so you don't love me?"

"No, I do. I lied when I said I wasn't stalking you…" Ivan looked away. He was really uncomfortable with this whole situation. Was he really going to admit his "obsession" to the obsession? Sure… why not? The worst he could do was run screaming from the house and never return.

"What do you mean?" Matthew narrowed his eyes. Did he have a stalker? This day was just getting weirder. He turned to face Ivan strait on.

Ivan tilted his head slightly, "It started in the beginning of this year… I saw you… and I knew that I loved you… Just like that. And ever since I have not been able to think of anything else." He grabbed the other's hands and looked up into his eyes.

Matthew only frowned, unconvinced, "W-what if you are lying? What if you're just using me for some sex toy?"

"I would never do that to you. If you do not want to do anything, then I will not force you."

"What if…" Matthew thought aloud unable to finish his sentence.

"Matvey. I will do anything for you. If you do not want me then that is fine. If you want me out of your life, I shall leave. I just want _you _to know. But if _you_ do feel the same then I would love to be with you."

Matthew looked unsure but nodded, "O-ok… but I-if"

"There won't be any If's, I swear I will do my best to make you happy. That is all I want, da…" Ivan smiled up at the smaller man reassuringly. Matthew gave him a small smile in return. There was no doubt he had feelings for the other man but he was afraid of what could come out of this. But maybe he needed to be uncertain for once. What was he afraid of? Change?

Take a chance Matthew!

_Take a chance._

Matthew, with the feeling of confidence bubbling up beneath his skin, let go of the man's hands before clasping his face in his own small palms and pulling him in to messy but passionate kiss. Ivan returned it happily, unable to express to himself the feeling in his chest. Matthew pulled the man up by his collar and led him to the room he had seen Ivan in earlier. Ivan followed without complaint and shut the door behind them once they had entered. He was uncertain what could come out of this but at the moment he didn't care. He had the one he had been dreaming of in his arms. And that, was enough for him. He would go with whatever Matthew wanted but he could have stayed like that for eternity. With Matthew in his arms.

He felt a fluttering sensation in his stomach when the young man pulled apart for a moment to whisper in Ivan's ear, like a lover, those fateful words, "I love you too."

**owo**

Katyusha walked in the large farm house a bag in either hand. She stumbled slightly under their weight relieved when she could set them all down on the sofa. Flopping beside them she let out a huge explosive sigh. She was exhausted and in desperate need of a proper shower. Her mother followed through the door soon after, bags in her hands also.

The older woman made her way to the kitchen stopping to call to her oldest child before disappearing into the other room, "Could you find your brother? I'm going to make us all a big breakfast!"

The tall man with sparkling eyes walked into the roomy living room next his eyes kind and loving. Wrinkles where forming around his mouth and eyes from years of smiling, he twirled some of his mustache between two fingers grinning brightly, "Yes, he's probably curled up somewhere all depressed. That boy always hated to be alone."

Nodding lightly Katyusha stood slowly stretching her back, "Ok, Where's Natalia?"

"Still asleep in the car," The man said chuckling quietly, "I couldn't just wake her… she looked so peaceful." His phone started to ring at that instant he groped for it pulling it out of a pocket to see the caller address then whining, "I just got back! Why can't work wait till later?" He sighed exasperated before flipping it open and greeting the caller with fake glee. The man worked for the local police station his specialty was death; murders, suicides, heart attacks ect. So whenever he was called it was almost never a good thing.

Katyusha smiled sadly before skipping down the hall in front of the door which led to her little brother's room. She opened it tentatively in case he was getting dressed. She scanned the room seeing as it was unusually messy; random cloths where strewn about and books and papers littered the small desk and the area surrounding it.

Her eyes reached the bed noticing her brothers falling and rising form, he lay on his side his head and shoulders poking out of the top of the blankets. His hair was extremely messy, messier than any bed head. _More like sex hair_, she mused.

Of course, right then a movement under the covers caught her eye and she noticed another figure in the bed directly in front of her brother held in his backward embrace. She stood there in complete shock. _Oh well… that explains it, _she brought a hand up to her face to stifle her giggles. She had not expected this at all. Her brother never brought any one home.

She backed out of the room quietly. Before she could shut the door she caught two violet eyes staring at her embarrassingly from the bed. She winked at the smaller man before shutting the door firmly behind her.

She walked back into the living room where she exploded chuckling happily and causing such a ruckus that her mother entered to investigate, "What's got you so giddy?" she asked her hands on her hips as she watched her daughter who was now rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically.

Katyusha straitened from her potion on the floor wiping a tear from her eye still giggling, "I-I d-don't think I-Ivan was t-too lonely…" she chuckled.

Her mother raised an eyebrow, giving her the famous 'If-that's-what-I-think-it-means-then-there-is-going-to-be-one-less-child-in-this-world' look but instead of taking action she just sighed, "I'll put out an extra plate then."

From the other side of the room the man shut his phone with one hand and rubbing his temples with the other.

Katyusha frowned, "Bad news?"

The man nodded sadly, "It might be a double suicide…" The two women stared at him in shock.

"Double?"

"What do you mean 'might'?"

He sighed, "We have one confirmed, my co-workers found a Kid, late teens, hanging in his closet back at the slums. His suicide note is what makes us think there may be another."

"Oh?"

"It apologized for causing his little brother to take his own life."

"Oh! That poor family! What is wrong with the world these days?" The older woman gasped placing hand over her heart while shaking her head, "I can't imagine the pain!" She set a harsh glare at her daughter on the floor, "And I never want to, you hear?"

"Yes mama," Katyusha sighed, there were tears in her eyes as she couldn't help imagining losing two of your sons at the same time.

The woman came over to hug her daughter, "Oh no, I'd never think you would kill yourself, it's your brother I worry about the most… he's always so distant with other people and he doesn't talk to us as much…"

The man came over to pat his wife's shoulder comfortingly, "I think the family will be more at peace when we find the other boy," He sighed, "we just have to find out where he went, and if maybe he's still alive."

"Let's hope so."

_I'm so sorry for the things I did to you and the things I said. I'm sorry for hurting you. You're my little brother, and I shouldn't have been able to hurt you so much. I know I drove you to kill yourself and I wish I could have stopped you. I would trade my life for yours any day and because I can't the next best thing is to take my own life. I probably won't go to the same place you did but I hope someday you can forgive me. I love you Matt, and I always will. _

**O3o**

**Author's note:**

**I am ashamed… I cannot believe I wrote this… ._. … save our skins**

**Ivan is terribly out of character… I just love fluffy RusCan… and I have problems making Ivan a merciless sadistic lunatic... Damn you inner fluffy fangirl! I curse you to the depths of hell! Also, why can't I just off Matthew in peace? *starts writhing on the ground and screaming***

***choking in fluff***

**Sorry about Alfred… I love him, I really do… I also apologize for all the cursing and name calling… I actually wrote this before my other story "I've got you"… **

**I give the credit for the idea for "suicidal Mattie" to my Buddy… But killing Alfred in the end was my idea. If you didn't realize it… well now you know…**

**Thank you spell check! Without you no one would be able to understand my writing… **

**I know I need to work on length fluency (and spelling/grammar) If you have any other things you think I should work on please review!**

**I love your opinions and criticisms so please, write a review. I will appreciate it much!**

**(I have a second part for this but I'm not going to post it because it sucks balls… Yay for one night stands!... No begging you here?... *waits for begging… none comes*… *sob*)**

**I love you all! Bye! O3o**


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